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Accidentally wandered onto the set looking for the bathroom, ended up in a scene with Samuel L. Jackson
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Improvised a line that was definitely cut for time (or legal reasons)
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Held a coffee cup with award-worthy intensity for three takes before spilling it on Quentin Tarantino’s shoes
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Mistaken for John Travolta’s body double – once, from a great distance, in dim lighting
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Contributed to craft services morale by repeatedly “taste-testing” the donuts
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Spent 8 hours in the green room debating whether the wallet really said what it said
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Briefly considered for a spin-off titled Mild Fiction, featuring my character: “Man Sitting Quietly”
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Personally responsible for 0% of the film’s success, but 100% of the behind-the-scenes bloopers
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Left the set with a prop spoon and a vague sense of cinematic greatness
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IMDB credit still pending… any day now
